Even Halos Can Be Crooked by L.M. Schukraft is a hilarious paranormal romance. If you’re looking for a read that will make you laugh long after the last page, this is a great one to try!
Full disclosure: I was given a free copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. This did not affect my rating in any way.
My Thoughts on Even Halos Can Be Crooked by L.M. Schukraft
Even Halos Can Be Crooked is tale about a woman named Autumn who suddenly finds herself in Limbo. As if that wasn’t upsetting enough, she also discovers that her halo is crooked. This means that she hadn’t built up enough good karma during her lifetime. Luckily, she gets a chance to return to earth. She thinks it’s going to be a piece of cake, but she has no idea what she is getting herself into.
When she wakes up in the hospital, she sees people with glowing eyes, halos and wings, and a stuffed giraffe is talking to her. She thinks that this is the result of her morphine drip at first, then a serious head trauma later when her drugs are taken away. But this is her new “normal.” She is immediately learns that she is not safe, and the action takes off at a run from there.
I thought the storyline of this book was really interesting! I enjoyed the angels and the demon creatures and seeing how they all interacted.
The characters, whether good or bad, were all so neat. I loved them all because each and every one of them was so extreme with their personality traits. For example, Autumn was extremely boy crazy. At first I could not stop laughing at her narrative, because she reminds me of one of my friends. I mean, she uses words like “Yummilicious” and “Hubba bubba, yum” when thinking about the men! Then there was Castle, her guardian angel who took the tough-guy/love interest to the extreme.
Desmin, the Devils Spawn Minion, was hysterical; by far my favorite character in the book! He was so inappropriate, but so freaking funny! I loved that when he overate, he had trouble standing up and moving around. Example: “Desmin struggled to gain his feet, cursing his full belly and repeating whoa over and over again.”
I also loved how the three main characters (Autumn, Desmin, and Castle) all interacted when they were together. For example, their banter around the breakfast table was adorable.
There were so many features of the story that I really enjoyed. Like the “modern” references to things like the Van Helsing movie with Hugh Jackman. I also loved the idea of halos turning colors depending on the angels moods. And the Catchel was so cool! I loved that the main character thought of it a Marry Poppins bag before she knew what it was.
Beware, the negatives:
It did bother me that Autumn was so hypocritical when it came to jealousy; she got irked at Castle for smiling about the sirens, but then expected him not to react when she was openly staring and drooling over any other guy she encountered.
Then the whole licking or wanting to lick people was totally weird to me. And I could only read lines that included mention of her “inner girlies” or whatever so many times before it just became too much for me. All the mentions of the cookie smell was a bit too repetitive for me as well.
I found some situations to be a bit repetitive as well. Whether that was a phrase that was repeated (like the smelling of cookies) or just a passage that needed a rewording. For example a passage that was a little too repetitive for me was: “I thought as I banged my forehead into his feathers. His feathers. Ugh. I stopped banging my head against his feathers as I close my eyes slowly and further embarrassment.” The first two feather mentions worked, but the third was just a bit too much for me.
My Favorite Passages from Even Halos Can Be Crooked
A tilt. Oh. My. God. I died and my halo is crooked.
I mean, how could this have happened to me?? I asked that aloud, didn’t I? Maybe I should. Is the shock? Could I be in shock right now?
Her dress was of the finest silk. Extremely soft to the touch, it floated around her like she had her own personal fan blowing on her. Revlon, eat your heart out.
“Eat your heart out,” I muttered as I took that long, slow, utterly ungraceful, shuffle forward. I was thankful the nurses had unhooked me from the IV a few hours ago. At least I didn’t have that trailing behind me.
It was then that I realized I had spent the better part of the last hour or so talking to a toy giraffe like it was an everyday occurrence. I wasn’t questioning my sanity. I wasn’t freaking out. It was like some part of me had accepted this as my new normal.
The blows came fast and unrelenting but I fended them off like some kind of martial arts expert. It was happening so fast I was moving before I could think.
“You picked the wrong slanted halo to mess with, buddy!!” I shouted at it. Like, seriously? I’m doing movie worthy fighting here. Epic life and death battles and THAT’S what I say as I slay the gigantic ugly demon beast?
“Castle, teleport, transmit, being yourself up now, Scotty, whatever it is you do to get help.”
He shut his mouth so hard smoke came out his nose.
“No. I am not jealous.” I snarled at him as I threw a pillow at his head. It missed. Not because he ducked away from it but because it went like 2 feet. I stared at the pillow, offended it had failed me so.
“You can laugh now, Percideous, but did you not hear Castle call it a minion? Since when do we trust minions?”
“Hey!” Desmin flew out from behind me. I caught his tail before he could get in Aramedos’ face. He grunted when he came up short and turned to demand I let him go.
“You might want to let that one go, Desmin.”
“But he just insulted me!”
“He has a flaming sword. Do you really want to push it?”
“Well, when you put it that way, not so much but I’m still offended. Can’t be trusted?” Desmin snorted and a little flame burst out. All three angels put their hands on their swords helps.
“Maybe Castle should finish introducing us,” I suggested, hoping to ease the tension.
Calling them blue seemed inadequate though. They were like bodies of water blended together.
My Final Thoughts on Even Halos Can Be Crooked
I really enjoyed this book! It was so funny, such an easy read, and the pacing flowed wonderfully. The writing was lovely, but could use a bit of a tune up editing wise. I am definitely interested to see where this series goes! I would also love to see this as a movie or tv series!
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