Yes, I Am A Vampire is a unique blend of short fiction and Stephen Kozeniewski’s autobiography, all woven together within a specific timeline. It’s been described as something unlike anything readers have ever experienced, and I can wholeheartedly confirm that’s the case for me! I am totally obsessed with this style!
Let’s dive in!
My Thoughts on Yes, I Am A Vampire by Stephen Kozeniewski –
I am definitely one who reads every single word in the book, including the copywriter page. I can never get enough! I’m also a huge fan of story notes and when I learned how extensive the author notes are here, especially because I am a big fan of this specific author, I was pumped!
Per usual, I have added notes for each tale in the collection. For the story notes, I also added some quick notes that will only make sense if you’ve read this book. There was SO much more I wanted to comment on in the autobiographic accounts, but instead, I wanted to leave that to the readers.
One of my favorite elements in each story note was whether or not the tale was connected to another work. I LOVE it when authors tie things together; whether through tiny Easter eggs or more clear paths, I think this is so much fun!
Preface –
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the explanation of how more forewords are written! But when Koz gets into how this book is organized, I was extra pumped to get to the first tale!
Clockwork Offal –
Gosh, I love drabbles! This short tale certainly kicks things off with a nice dose of darkness that, while perfect as is, also does a killer job of making you want more context!
Story Notes (Clockwork Offal) –
Lucky for readers, this collection has extensive author notes after each tale! And in this one, we learn exactly where the authors’ mindset was when writing this. We also get a solid recap of how the author got to where he was up to this point.
The Thing Under The Bed –
Waking up to hear something speaking from underneath her bed, this girl anxiously waits until her father returns home. But will he believe her and help?
I had previously read the expanded version of this, so seeing the original tale was a lot of fun! So much darkness is packed into this brutal little tale!
Story Notes (The Thing Under The Bed) –
Ah! I need the screenplay of this one picked up, please, and thank you! This would be a blast! Though I’m sure it would also give me nightmares as well!
Exploding Shit Zombies –
Trying to survive the zombie apocalypse, these two sisters think they’ve found a good spot to stay safe. But once the first explosion occurs, things go downhill fast.
This brings up such a unique question – what happens when a zombie gorges itself on people but doesn’t properly process the meal like a normal digestive system would? As you can imagine, it’s just as gruesome and hilarious as you could imagine. The humor and horror here were amazing!
Story Notes (Exploding Shit Zombies) –
These notes make me want to jump into the books the author mentioned ASAP. Man, I have some catching up to do!
The New Dark Ages –
In a zombie apocalypse, this young man will do anything to keep their game going. Convincing readers that it has to be done in order to stay sane, sanity just may have already vanished.
Oh my gosh, I didn’t see that ending coming at all! What a turn of events!! This tale makes you want to go back to the start and immediately reread to see what hints you missed! Ah man, while such an unsettling tale of terrors, in more ways than one, this was also a blast to read!
Story Notes (The New Dark Ages) –
Ah, I can’t wait to read Notes From the Undead!!! Ugh… hearing about poor publishing house habits is always so upsetting!
The Man With Four Scars –
Determined to find more, this man follows a falling star seeking out fire but finds something else. Soon after that, something happens to his tribe.
Ah, these poor people. They were so happy to focus on the same daily activities until suddenly, the mold turns them into zombies! Watching it all play out through the perspective that we follow was so eerie!
Story Notes (The Man With Four Scars) –
Gosh, I love learning how stories are connected!! And the bits about school trying to squash creativity. Ugh, I hate how relatable this was! Thank goodness for the great teachers who encourage creativity in all capacities! I lucked out and had two of those myself!
The Keys To The Stars –
When a professor receives a call that her assistant thinks is a crank call, she jokes about how to hang up the phone. But when her assistant tells her what the caller is saying, time slows and the professor rushes to get to the phone…
This was so much fun! I loved the formatting of the tale and how we jump back into the bulk of the tale to find out why that phone call was so important before coming back to the future. I loved how positive this was and the main character’s determination was so awesome to see! Young teenage me would have loved this so much, but of course, adult me loved it as well!
Story Notes (The Keys To The Stars) –
Ah, yay! Bring on The Hyena! I loved learning that this tale was originally in a collection that helped encourage young girls to pursue study in STEM fields. But oh gosh, the turn these notes take. And this line: “Little did I imagine the trip of a lifetime would actually be to Mordor…” I was so nervous to see what would come next.
The Old Man and the Seesaw –
While sitting in a bar, this group gets quite the tale of an old man and how he became such a legend.
Ah when the main character’s name was mentioned, I had a jolt remembering I STILL need to freaking read Braineater Jones! My gosh, that’s been on my bookshelf for too long!
Story Notes (The Old Man and the Seesaw) –
Ugh, some of these notes made me so sad. I want all my favorite indie authors to make enough from writing to live comfortably! The arts deserve so much more.
Cadaver Bite –
Finding a way for science to step in when patients are on death row, this crew runs tests to try to figure out how people will die based on something in their blood.
Oh my gosh, this starts so unsettling! But then when She comes in, the story takes things up a notch! This was wild!
Story Notes (Cadaver Bite) –
Woah I never thought about tales that are written for specific calls and what, if anything, happens next.
The Quiet Life –
Hiding out from beings that attack any human voice, these two have found a way to survive. But will it last?
Oh GOD the tongues… And that ending.
Story Notes (The Quiet Life) –
I loved the bit about “idea stealing” and how silly it is. That’s honestly one big thing that’s been holding me back from trying to write my own stuff. I needed this take! Oh lord, the stuff with Permuted Press just gets more and more wild, I keep dreading to learn what happened next!
Traditions –
I love flash fiction so much! In this tale, we get a tiny glimpse into what this family is doing together, but you don’t get the full picture until the end!
Story Notes (Tradition) –
Ugh, the Permuted notes here. Being just a reader who, thanks so social media, sees stuff like this happening time over time, I just hate it. It’s so unfair to the authors and I can absolutely understand why people get so upset. Seeing this situation from someone who was hurt but able to stay logical about it was very interesting and also a bit refreshing! Ugh, if only more people worked with empathy and compassion at the forefront like Koz!
A Visit From… –
AH! Finding out who the visitor was!!! Another killer flash fiction where you don’t know what’s going on until the end!
Story Notes (A Visit From) –
Oofh. For anyone who has been too loyal in a romantic relationship, these notes are a gut punch. Fiction is powerful, this honest nonfiction is brave.
Brightly Shining –
Another flash fiction piece where we get a tiny snapshot into a tough situation that, while everything seems bleak, there’s a beautiful moment.
Story Notes (Brightly Shining) –
Oh, what perfect notes to end this collection with! I wanted to jump up and cheer over these wins!
Afterword –
Closing with a bang! I can’t wait for the next volume!
Ha! And one last clever twist; the author notes!
My Favorite Passages from Yes, I Am A Vampire –
She shuddered at the sight of the chapless skull, grinning up at her, but she forced herself to quietly mouth a few words for the deceased. Who knew if it meant anything to the dead, but it would mean something to her, at least for the few minutes left to her before she joined him.
— The New Dark Ages
She’d looked like a circus clown with all the blood around her mouth. And two fistfuls of squishy brown brains in her hands.
— The Old Man and the Seesaw
My Final Thoughts on Yes, I Am A Vampire –
This collection is a must-read for horror fans who appreciate not only the stories themselves but the craft and passion behind them. Koz’s distinctive style is bold, engaging, and so brutally honest. I have no doubt that Yes, I Am A Vampire will hold a special place on my favorites list for a long time!
Thanks for reading!
Your books scare me and I haven’t even read them myself. 🫣 I’m really glad you enjoyed this one and it was memorable!
<3 <3