Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Honest Review Requests Gone Wrong, Part 2

Honest Review Requests Gone Wrong, Part 2

And the poor honest reviews just keep rolling in! If you missed my previous post, feel free to read the first Honest Review Requests Gone Wrong

And again, keep in mind that this post should be read with a particular level of humor :) 

Note: In this post, I have blacked out some of the information in order to give the individuals privacy.

Let's dive in!

Honest Review Requests Gone Wrong



"Happy Easter (If you celebrate)"

This is another email that was deleted immediately. First of all, do not email me on a holiday. Ever. No one wants to get emails on holidays!

Second, EDIT YOUR EMAIL. There are so many grammatical, capitalization, and formatting issues in this one it actually made me laugh out loud.

Third, make sure you've done your research. I mean come on, it says right on my blog that, "The only genre that I will not read is erotica" and you're pitching me an erotica book?

Three strikes, you're out!


"I'm sorry to email you out of the blue"

Oh lordy. If you truly knew how bothersome emails out of the blue are with requests like this, especially pushy ones, you wouldn't have done it. At least check out my blog to see if something like this would be fitting. I mean, I very rarely read paranormal romance, so why in the world would you assume that my readers would love it?!

"...so you don't have to worry about clearing your schedule..." Wow. Yes, because I would totally consider dropping everything for a cold email from someone I have never been in contact with before. That's something that is reserved for only a handful of my favorite authors that I have worked with before.

Do. Not. Wink. At. People. You. Don't. Know. Not even virtually. It's incredibly creepy.

"Here's where you come in"... Nope. Maybe try "Here is where I would love your help" or something along those lines to make it a little more welcoming.


"After perusing the pages of your website..."

Well, you clearly didn't reach my Honest Review Request page. If you had, you would have seen that THE ONLY GENRE I DO NOT ACCEPT IS EROTICA.

I deleted this one immediately.


Thanks for reading!
When I posted the first post like this, quite a few people reached out saying that they got the same mass emails. Did you receive any of the messages above?

48 comments:

  1. Oh, jeez! I love when they start out by saying, "love your blog!" or "based on your other reviews..." and then the book they're pushing is a genre I've never even talked about! Glad you can have a sense of humor about it all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?! Like, hello, you cannot use that phrasing if you haven’t actually taken a look!!

      Delete
  2. I get so many emails like these! Almost all of them are for romance or erotica books, which are basically the only genres I don’t read. It says on my blog’s review policy page that I don’t read them. I always laugh when my blog’s “biggest fan” sends me an erotica review request.

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm lucky enough to not receive these types of emails....yet lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m sure they’ll be coming haha! I’d love to hear at about your crazy ones when the do arrive! :)

      Delete
  4. I am now noticing that some of the emails i get are so generic. I thought i was special at the beginning lol. this was a great read!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I work in marketing so I think that helped me to spot the mass-sends and the copy and pasted content haha! Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  5. Oi! People are so weird. I hate when they obviously didn’t read my review policy. If they can’t be bothered to read a few paragraphs, I can’t be bothered to read an entire book.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh goodness, it's not hard to read someone's review policy! People really need to work on that one. And yeah, "winking" at someone you don't know? Even online? Creepy!!

    -Lauren
    www.shootingstarsmag.net

    ReplyDelete
  7. I delete most of them by reading the subject line itself

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh my gosh! I have a trash bin FULL of emails like this!!! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I totally missed your first post on this, but good god! Yeah a lot of times I just don't respond.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I first started getting emails like this, I responded to every single one. After realizing that 90% don't even bother emailing back, I stopped responding to most. Thanks for stoping by!

      Delete
  10. This is awesome. Well not for you receiving these lol, but for us to enjoy your responses here. :) I don't understand why these people don't read review policies SMH. Why do we even bother with them???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s so frustrating!! I am starting to simply laugh at these rather than getting upset though :) Progress!

      Delete
  11. Haha, it seems everyone but me gets spammed with erotica requests. I only review romance and erotica so I might even accept them. Instead all I get offered is YA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh darn! haha I can start forwarding mine your way if you'd like! Feel free to send me your email address :) Mine is ericarobynreads@gmail.com

      Delete
  12. My question - if you're writing the blurb for an erotic novel, does "love and gratifying sex" sound appealing? Really? Maybe spend a little more time working on your blurb . . . oh, and read the review request page BEFORE sending out the email. Not after :) And I agree, winks are creepy LOL :)

    Great post!
    Megan - Ginger Mom and the Kindle Quest

    ReplyDelete
  13. Is it horrible to admit I get similar emails from time to time and to be honest, I just automatically delete them now. I just don't have the time to weed through them. I did get a few chuckles this morning though reading this and they were much needed :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah... My new mindset is that if they clearly didn't take the time to read my policy page, then I don't need to take the time to respond to the email. :)

      Delete
  14. Even further proof that absolutely no one reads the review request blurbs before shooting off that email about their precious book. Gah!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. So annoying getting requests for genres you specifically state you're not interested in...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIGHT?! I can't stand it. Like... it's the ONE genre that I don't accept. It's not that difficult haha!

      Delete
  16. Luckily, I haven't gotten any requests like this in quite a while. It sucks that it's pretty clear how many authors don't even READ our review policies. I just don't get it. :/

    - Aimee @ Aimee, Always

    ReplyDelete
  17. I didn't get any of those specific ones but...a request to boost their Kickstarter campaign? Really?? My throat is practically swollen shut with the secondhand shame.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I used to reply to all these requests with a nice No thanks. But now if my name isn't used it's an automatic delete. I had one that said "I noticed you reviewed (book title) would you like to review my book."Their book wasn't even the same genre as the one they mentioned. I'm happy to review for authors that take the time to get to know me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here! It's just not worth the effort. And I agree, authors that request reviews the "right" way are such amazing people! :)

      Delete
  19. Oh my word this a horror story! How are these emails even real?! UGH. I've had a few like this, and they just don't make sense. I mean, grammar at least - don't people proof-read?!

    I used to get tons of review requests for romance or erotica. And yet in my policy I say I don't accept them! It makes no sense, haha.

    Awesome post!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I've gotten to the point where I almost never respond to review requests anymore because I get so many of them. I hate to ignore people, but ... well, emails like this one deserve to be ignored.

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

    ReplyDelete
  21. My current favorites are the ones that say something like "I know you are busy and may have missed my last [insert number over 2] email requests, but . . . "

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ugh, those requests for genres you don't even accept are so aggravating. Either they didn't bother to read the policy, or they don't care, and neither is good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIGHT?! So messed up. I keep debating taking down my whole Honest Review page because of things like this... But I know it won't stop these emails from coming in.

      Delete
  23. I agree, I went through all the trouble to create a review policy the least you can do is read it!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Wow, I missed Pt. 1 but these are hilarious! Although I think it's a bit sad that someone thinks these e-mails are effective marketing =.= I did get one weird review request that was just a block of text that read like someone's rambling drunk messaging...

    ReplyDelete